Friends.

So i dont have a Bestest friends. Like a person who considers me there bestest over everyone else. I hate it. Im not even anyones second best friend. No one trust me but yet i dont really do anything to have anyone not trust me? I use to be close to so many people but for some reason when i get people really close they meet new people and dont care about me anymore, ive been replaced by three people i considered my best friends in the last couple months. And now im becoming someone that well isnt me, because im afriad to be myself anymore that people wont like me and i will loose all my friends, ive had it done ones, in eigth grade i lost almost all my friends except like five and i dont want it to happen again.

ive fucked up.

wow i've fucked up big. && no one cares.
im loosing friends. people dont trust me anymore.
i cry all the time. && i have asked for help.
ive been told by so many people to go talk to someone.
but that someone doesnt wana talk?
oh and im never really happy anymore,
and no one has really noticed.
have you not seen i havent been wearing a smile,
and laughing all the time, like i use to do.
im sick of my life.
i just want to go back to summer and
fix everything, so my life doesnt end up being like this.
and just because i miss my past with a passion
all i want it to go back, and one other thing :]
so all the people i fucked up to,
you really have no clue how sorry i am.
i wish it never happened. i cant take it anymore.
please forgive me and let it go.

sitting in 1ts block.

so im sitting in first block all done looking up shit for the project and i have a half an our to do um nothing.
i havnt wrote in this is a while! but thats okay. i probably should be studding for gay exams considering i have a D+ in this class. um so im excited for fridays game. but after is ganna be even more fun! bonfire at my house! um yep. i freakin hate how everything is blocker on these computers. well i guess im going to go study now peace :]

10-7-08

hehe i missed volleyball today. not on purpuse. my dad and sister were at work so it wasnt my fault there were no cares home. but i dont care because my team is so dramatic and cliquey. yeahh. i cant wait till basketball season starts, i miss it!!!! i dont think im ganna keep doing blogs cause no one comments mine. unless you leave me comments today :] but i prbly will do them like once a week or somthing?

Monday, October 06, 2008

today was boring and slow. i took a nice long nap :]
i sat at the computer for ever uploading pictures...boring!

end of a great weekend :]

got to say best weekend in forever.
im freakin tired. and i was busy as hell, this is the first time i got to sit down and not get ready for anything this whole weekend while i am home. the dance was so freakin fun :] but i got to say dinner was way better and omg i bet i know have like 500 new inside jokes. sarahs house was funnnn :P but once i turned the light off i was out. everyone at the volleyball game was like dead it was quiet funny, and we would of beat this one team if we werent so out of it.