ive fucked up.

wow i've fucked up big. && no one cares.
im loosing friends. people dont trust me anymore.
i cry all the time. && i have asked for help.
ive been told by so many people to go talk to someone.
but that someone doesnt wana talk?
oh and im never really happy anymore,
and no one has really noticed.
have you not seen i havent been wearing a smile,
and laughing all the time, like i use to do.
im sick of my life.
i just want to go back to summer and
fix everything, so my life doesnt end up being like this.
and just because i miss my past with a passion
all i want it to go back, and one other thing :]
so all the people i fucked up to,
you really have no clue how sorry i am.
i wish it never happened. i cant take it anymore.
please forgive me and let it go.

sitting in 1ts block.

so im sitting in first block all done looking up shit for the project and i have a half an our to do um nothing.
i havnt wrote in this is a while! but thats okay. i probably should be studding for gay exams considering i have a D+ in this class. um so im excited for fridays game. but after is ganna be even more fun! bonfire at my house! um yep. i freakin hate how everything is blocker on these computers. well i guess im going to go study now peace :]

10-7-08

hehe i missed volleyball today. not on purpuse. my dad and sister were at work so it wasnt my fault there were no cares home. but i dont care because my team is so dramatic and cliquey. yeahh. i cant wait till basketball season starts, i miss it!!!! i dont think im ganna keep doing blogs cause no one comments mine. unless you leave me comments today :] but i prbly will do them like once a week or somthing?

Monday, October 06, 2008

today was boring and slow. i took a nice long nap :]
i sat at the computer for ever uploading pictures...boring!

end of a great weekend :]

got to say best weekend in forever.
im freakin tired. and i was busy as hell, this is the first time i got to sit down and not get ready for anything this whole weekend while i am home. the dance was so freakin fun :] but i got to say dinner was way better and omg i bet i know have like 500 new inside jokes. sarahs house was funnnn :P but once i turned the light off i was out. everyone at the volleyball game was like dead it was quiet funny, and we would of beat this one team if we werent so out of it.

my weekend.

so yesterday i had to go without internet cause it wasnt working :O hah.
and today is going to be insanely busy. i got to shower clean my room for ritas party then at 2, i have to go get my hair done. then go shopping for food for like sarahs house so we can have well lots of food :] and then i got to pack my bags for her house. get all my shit around. at four i got to be at marissas and then 5:45 we are leaving for buffalo wild wings. then the dance is at 8..blahh till 11? then sarahs house after that. then the next day i have to leave sarahs at like 12, cause i have a game at christ the king at one and three? then straight after that im going to my cousins bday party :] eek i cant wait! this weekend is like super fun. exspecially last night :P so umm text me if you want to talk?

i want you back more than ever.

today was okay. volleyball was funn :]
i am now going with the group i want to go with :]
im excited.
im tired of people telling me stuff that they here, okay yeah i have a problem with believing people way easily, not good. so i believe it and then sometimes it not true...ugh i hate it. so stop telling me shit you here unless you have the facts straight.
why does it have to be so freakin cold. last year i wore shorts to the volley for the cure game, this year im sitting there in jeans and had my north fae on one fourth of the time. ughhh.

ohhh &&. i miss you all the time. when you left today the second u started walking to the bus i missed you alot and i didnt want you to go. i miss everything!

this is pointless.

okay so i totally cant trust my friends anymore, i can only trust my best friends. well part on that.
i love how if you tell somone something, they have to go tell everyone, and then people start hating on you.
i love how my best friends and do shit with out my back and my other best friends have to tell me about it. yeah, the person has no idea im talking about them, but i dont want to start any fights.

im not looking forward to any thing about homcoming..well not till sarahs house at night. i dont have a ride to courtneys, or a ride to applebees, i have no one to hang with while im there cause they all got there own people, so megan is tryin to come with me, but we will need more cars.

my mom has a cow over the gayest things, like running all the way to lyons. okay yeah ill shut up now im tried of righting since i just did a freakin essay for hoffman. byee